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The following patrons proudly
accept your IAFCN membership card for entry, discounts, free gifts, or
sanctuary in intergalactic warfare:
-James’ Pubful Pub, Fish ‘n’
Chips, and Chap Emporium, UK: Identify yourself as a member of IAFCN for a
free pint.*
-All IAFCN ladies will enjoy a
10% discount on purchases at all participating Zane’s department stores.**
-Your IAFCN card provides you
free access to any and all IAFCN-sponsored events.***
-Bob’s Chili in Kansas City, USA,
will gladly serve all IAFCN members a free dish of soda crackers with each
meal.****
-Our partners at Permanently
Delayed Airlines offer double Frequent Flier Miles to all IAFCN
members.*****
* Of tap water.
**As long as the item is already
10% off.
***But we reserve the right to
kick you out of you are particularly malodorous that day.
****No restrictions on this one.
It’s a dish of damn soda crackers. They’re banking on the assumption that
you’re so gullible you’ll be reigned in by free crackers, which cost all of
four cents, that you’ll spend $28.50 on their One-Man Feast Entrée. Don’t
say we didn’t warn you.
*****As long as you’re traveling
from Panama to Iceland at 2:14 in the morning with one piece of carry on
luggage and are willing to make eighty-seven stops in between and accept the
fact that you are going to be riding in the little compartment where they
keep the landing gear. A grip bar will be provided in the event the landing
gear must be extended before making a final approach.
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