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Fashion tips for those who want
to look great even though there too damn scared to go naked (Just Joking):
World-renowned fashionista and
International Association of Fully Clothed Nudes charter member Ms.
Pamela Panera offers the following tips to our members in making the most of
the IAFCN lifestyle:
-The hot colour this spring is
green. Or possibly orange. Who can keep track of this crap?
-To bra or not to bra? That is
the question of many a female IAFCN member. Rule of thumb: If you can walk
unassisted without causing individual tremors on the Richter scale, one for
each mammary, you may forgo the garment.
-Many young people like to wear
“shower shoes” or “flip flops” when walking about. These look stupid. Stop
looking stupid, young people. If you have to wear shoes, look to your
elders for proper mode of attire. Wear go-go boots.
-Purple? Is the hot colour this
spring purple? I’ll get back to you.
-An IAFCN bride is a natural
bride! Rather than wearing a veil, ladies, consider a fashionable hat, or
perhaps a potted plant. Make a splash as you trail down the aisle!
-Even babies can enjoy the life
of the Fully Clothed Nude. Consider allowing your tot to go diaperless for
a day or two. Please do not send the cleaning bills to us.
-Gentlemen, so as to create a
“freer” feeling while in public, consider extremely short shorts. Make sure
they’re neon pink. Boy, will you look grand giving a presentation to a
major client! Go ahead, flash your IAFCN card! Just don’t flash anything
else.
-Also, gents, remember that when
wearing loose-fitting clothing while participating in a sporting event,
please do not allow so much “give” that you are distracting your team
mates. Nothing gets you bounced off the football team faster than bouncing
those balls of your own.
-Don’t forget that your pets may
also appreciate the freedom of the natural state. Consider slipping off
your dog’s leash while taking a walk, for if he is truly meant to be yours,
he shall return unto you should he stray. Isn’t that lovely?
-Very large bracelets can cover a
multitude of sins on the wrists. However, in what can only be a reflection
of IAFCN’s tireless work in the arena of nude acceptability, naked wrists
are becoming more and more suitable for polite society. Go bare if you
dare, ladies!
-The blatantly unattractive may
wish to consider nudity for all areas except a very heavy veil over the face
so as to escape the looks of horror that surely meet your every step.
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