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Join in the fun?
We'd love to see you clothed or naked at our special events!
Following is
a sample calendar from one of our happy, fully natural chapters. What are
you waiting for? Free yourself the restriction of clothes and pick up a
croquet mallet! Although not necessarily in that order! Fully Clothed
Natural fun is right around the bend.
JANUARY:
New Year’s
Day Party: Members renew resolutions to maintain nudity even while in a
fully clothed situation.
Ski Trip:
Location to be announced. Let’s not have a repeat of last year’s “Let’s See
How Many People We Can Fit In the Hot Tub” incident, all right?
FEBRUARY
Valentine’s
Day Dance: This is our members’ big chance to put our principles of
naturalism into action with a member of the opposite (or, should s/he
desire, the same) sex. It’s an excellent chance to introduce a suspicious
spouse or significant other to the world of Fully Clothed Naturalism, by
which we mean, this event involves a significant amount of alcohol.
MARCH
First Day of
Spring Ritual: Members celebrate the arrival of warmer weather by dancing
about in a meadow of choice. Non-clothed nudity may or may not occur,
depending upon the amount of law enforcement professionals in the area.
APRIL
Easter/Passover/Religion of Choice Potluck Brunch: Please bring a food item
in a non-returnable container. We don’t care what religion you are. We
just care that everybody goes home with the proper Tupperware.
Grand
National kickoff celebration. Members place bets on which jockeys are naked
beneath their silks.
MAY
International Association of Fully Clothed Nudes Convention! We are
still in search of a location to hold all of our members. Bob in the Member
Services office is working on renting a reasonably priced one-room,
one-bathroom pub.
JUNE
We can’t
think of anything to do for June. Maybe something in a park with ducks.
People like ducks.
JULY
It’s the
highlight of the year for our female members: The Miss Fully Clothed Nudes Beauty Competition. Applications may be obtained from your
chapter office. One application per member. One gender per member.
AUGUST
Football
Tournament: Shirts vs. Shirts
Annual
meeting of the International Association of Fully Clothed Naturalists
Literary Society: This year’s meeting will convene in Zimbabwe. Anybody
who knows where Zimbabwe is actually located, please contact your chapter.
SEPTEMBER
Cross-cultural dance party with the International Association of Unclothed
Naturists. Clothing potentially optional.
OCTOBER
Fall
Festival! Rake naked!
Our
Halloween celebration is marked by a costume contest and parade. Members
are required to cover at least one foot.
NOVEMBER
Members are
encouraged to contact their political representatives in an effort for
official recognition of World International Association of Fully Clothed Nudes Day, in which we will encourage our non-Naturist brothers and
sisters to rally for our cause by wearing clothes. O glorious day!
DECEMBER:
Hanukkah
celebration: “Eight Nights of Fully Decent Nudity.”
Christmas
luncheon. Please bring your own presents. And food. And alcohol. And
boots. And clothes.
New Year’s
Eve party; clothing required, underwear optional
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